Finding Your Passion

In case you missed this post from my Facebook:

Years ago I set out to draft a novel and ended up becoming a blogger. I am still working on my novel, but it’s a SLOW process to create a good book.

Blogging, though, is an instant connection with readers and for me, it’s simple. It’s something I can sit down and do as easy as breathing. It’s a safe social outlet for an introvert like me.

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I love this quote from Oprah because every time I blog, I feel a little guilty inside. Like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing. Or “wasting time” with a less noble profession. But there’s nothing more exciting to me than a blank blog post and making connections with people around the world. It inspires me. It excites me.

So, maybe Oprah is right. Maybe it’s in doing what we aren’t “supposed” to be doing that we find our real talents and passions.

Like this post? Read more here on the original blog.

The Urge to Nest

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This originally appeared on LisaKerr.net. Read the piece here. This is Part I of a series about turning thirty, getting closer to my family, and finally deciding to settle down. Read Part II here and Part III here

Something happened when I turned thirty.

I started missing my parents, even though I lived two hours away. I worried about their health. My friends’ parents were having major health issues and passing away at young ages and my own parents were starting their annual physicals and colonoscopies, sometimes with discussions about “what they found.” I began to realize that they weren’t going to be around forever. I was growing up and they were growing older. I could feel myself aging.

I started feeling the need to settle down and the urge to nest. I wanted to find a home I could stay in for decades, instead of an apartment that I changed from time to time. I was single, and not 100% sure I really wanted kids, so I adopted a rescue puppy. I didn’t realize she would make me want to both have a child and make me question the idea of having kids all at once. A year has passed now, and we have survived the puppy stage. We’ve house-trained. We’ve obedience trained. Kids might not be so hard, right?

During college, I promised myself I would publish at least one book before getting pregnant. It was one way to keep me focused on working toward my dreams. But as I aged, and as my second set of friends started talking about having kids (the first set of friends started having kids around their mid-twenties), I started wondering what it would be like to be pregnant with my closest friends who were pinning things to their Babies! boards on Pinterest). I also started wondering what I was actually waiting for.

Love, of course. I was waiting for love. But I was also simultaneously avoiding it.

I was also waiting to move away from L.A. where most of the men I met didn’t want kids…probably because many of them were still so immature. I figured if I stayed in that city I would have to be a single mom and the single moms I knew (who did amazing jobs raising their kids) cautioned me at how hard it was. I knew they were right. I had been a nanny in my early twenties and even that was difficult.

But more than babies, I wanted to fall in love like I had only a few times in my life. The last time I’d fallen in love was when I was twenty-six and he’d moved away. Sometime after the move and our failed attempt to keep a long-distance relationship working, we’d broken each other’s hearts.

He and I had met through a mutual friend in my hometown and we were instantly swept up in love. Within a month, we’d made love in one of the most intimate moments I’d had with a man. We’d watched baseball games together. We’d dressed up together for romantic dinners. And then at the end of that month, he told me what I already knew: that he was moving and we’d have to say goodbye soon–at least until he could afford to move me up there. He told me he wanted me to visit soon and he followed through with sending me a plane ticket to come for my twenty-sixth birthday. While I was there, we laid on the couch together and he gave me a simple, pink heart diamond necklace and we kissed each other in a way I thought meant he’d be the last man I kissed.

He wasn’t.

We fell apart for reasons that usually exist when you attempt to do a long-distance relationship. Sometimes, no matter how much in love you are, the timing is wrong and the distance makes it complicated. But I knew from experience with him that there were good men out there; men who wanted a family and kids; men who treated women well; men who were honest about who they were and what they wanted. As I entered my thirties, I knew I needed to stop dating men who weren’t like that. I needed to reevaluate who I’d been dating and sleeping with. But more than that, I needed to understand what my desires were telling me. I was ready to find someone amazing. I was happy in nearly every area of my life except this one missing piece and except for the itch that kept reappearing: I wanted to settle down and find someone to start a family with.

Image from Pinterest.

Read Part II here and Part III here

Clarity

This post originally appeared on LisaKerr.net. You can read the original post here

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Image via Pinterest

It’s not easy to find. It’s not easy to grasp.

Sometimes I’m in the middle of a project and I see clearly. Other times I’m unable to see past the cloud of information I’ve inevitably absorbed while doing hours upon hours of research.

To gain clarity and perspective, I step back. I breathe deeply. I take a long walk and usually call my mom or a dear friend. I reflect. I stay still. I breathe.

A Few of My Favorite Things

This post first appeared on LisaKerr.net. You can read the full post here.

We all know Pinterest is the online version of Hoarders. But I love it. I wasn’t that interested in it until a friend/coworker started sending me funny pins that neither she nor I wanted the whole world to see. Or they were inside jokes about that time we both had a major issues with the same person and what we really wanted to say. I took that same “insider” approach to my relationship. I started sending him mushy love quotes daily so he’d have virtual love notes to read over his morning coffee when I couldn’t be there. My pinning has spiraled out of control and I love it. It’s a refreshing hobby. I also use Pinterest for private mood boards to store creative collections and ideas for art and writing projects.

Here are a few of my favorite boards, which are also some of my most popular boards for people to follow.

LOVE

Follow Lisa Kerr’s board {Love} on Pinterest.

WEDDINGS/FLOWERS/PARTIES

Follow Lisa Kerr’s board Weddings/flowers/parties on Pinterest.

 

STYLE

Follow Lisa Kerr’s board Style on Pinterest.

THE GREAT OUTDOORS

Follow Lisa Kerr’s board The Great Outdoors on Pinterest.

How do you use Pinterest? Share what you do in the comments below.

My New Blog

As you may have noticed, my last five posts (one, two, three, four, and five) have been quite different from the usual cult/religion writing I’ve done in the past on this blog. For about two years now, I’ve toyed with the idea of closing this blog and I made several attempts to do so. I’m a writer and not all writers stick with the same genre their entire lives. I felt it was time for me to explore my pre-My Cult Life love of art, romance and other subjects, but I never felt like this blog was a good space for that. I was sad to see this chapter close, though.

I wasn’t quite ready to move on and I also needed to spend more time in the creative zone with my ideas to see where this new desire was taking me. Taking a new direction blogging can be a complicated endeavor. One that shouldn’t be done in haste. So, after two years and a lot of planning, I’m ready to move forward with my new blog. It’s simply called Lisa Kerr: Life, Chronicled.

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The important thing for me was to have a name that didn’t box me in (like “My Cult Life”) to a specific subject. It can be very hard to change directions when the spirit of the blog (and readers) expect one niche topic all the time and that’s what happened here. (Not that this niche topic wasn’t insanely interesting. It was.)

It was also important that the new blog helped me do what I’ve loved doing sometimes on this blog and other times on Facebook: chronicle my daily life. I think I’ve found the perfect way to move forward.

Of course I’m excited to discover where my writing will take me and what new skills I’ll discover as a writer–reporting and writing about cults has been limiting creatively. While I don’t regret starting this blog or where it’s taken me, it hasn’t been an artistic outlet; it’s been a therapeutic and healing outlet. Those things are essential to life, but sometimes we need to close one chapter before we can discover the full beauty in another chapter.

I hope you’ll join me on this new blog journey, even though it will be void of religion, cults and politics. Here are a few posts to start you off with:

  1. Clarity
  2. A Few of My Favorite Things
  3. Finding Your True Talent
  4. The Great Outdoors
  5. A Few Mini-Disasters We Handled in Stride

And you can find my updated social media accounts on the new blog, as well.