My Cat Is An Asshole, The Weekend Version

Like clockwork, Molly (my cat) tries waking me up around 6 am and again at 6:30 am. Mind you, I don’t get up until 6:50 every day for work. So, those last few minutes before waking up when I have a cat paw with the claws extended going after a fake mouse in my hair are the moments that drive me a little crazy. Except that Molly is adorable and I forgive her, like she’s my kid.

See? Molly is adorable
See? Molly is adorable


But on weekends this is all so problematic. I try to sleep in until 9 or 10 but without fail, Molly is all like OMG, WAKE UP. YOU’RE HOME! LET’S PLAY! And then if I get up and make coffee, guess who goes back to sleep? Yep, Molly. It’s a sick twisted game, this cat has.

This morning, I wake up to a huge crash. Molly had made a habit of climbing to the top of my flat screen TV and perching up there, then jumping down. Well, today, the TV wouldn’t hold her weight (all 8 lbs) and went flying down to the ground. Luckily, it still works and the screen looks okay. So far so good. But this happened at 6 am. Dear god, kitty!

I’m okay with a game of 6 am Let’s play fetch¬†because I can toss the fake mouse in my sleep…or more likely ¬†hide her toys under the pillows until I get up. But this destroy the house thing? No, not okay, kitty. Not okay.