Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

We were taught that you didn’t make a decision without first making sure it was approved by our appropriate Pastor, Master’s Commission Director, or Staff Member. Anyone in an authority position on church staff or ministry staff was clearly way more qualified than we were to make decisions–at least that’s what we were taught. We even had a hierarchy of leadership that were our assigned leaders who helped us make decisions and who we had to go to talk to make a big or little decision, or even to go somewhere as simple as the mall.

The inability to make decisions on our own became a problem for many staff and students leaving, including a few friends I’ve talked to recently. One friend, James*, shared the story of events surrounding his wedding. He had left Master’s Commission years prior and hadn’t seemed to face too many huge decisions until he was getting married. Even though he had met and dated a beautiful woman who was lovely inside and out, James told me he felt like he couldn’t even process on his own after being subjected to the authoritative teachings and life-management we’d been subjected to. For James, it wasn’t a question of whether his future wife was “the one” or not because he loved her more than anyone he’d ever met before and he knew she was who he wanted to marry—it was that he felt that he should be approving major decisions through his Pastor or Master’s Commission Director. He felt the need to get approval for his decision for the first time since leaving, and that realization made him feel that he couldn’t process things on his own.

The reason the teachings we were subjected to were wrong is because they fall into the category of what a destructive group (or cult) displays as characteristics. When a group is defined by professionals and scholars as being destructive or cult-like, they typically have this mind-controlling trait and many others traits working for the leaders of the group to secure loyalty and obedience. The leader uses this decision-approval process to set the levels of hierarchy in the group, and also to set up loyalty tiers within the group.

Recently, a former Master’s Commission student called me to ask me my advice on what decision he should make. It was a personal decision, something related to dating, and honestly wasn’t that huge of a deal. However, I’ve faced the same personal crises over decisions I’ve had to make over the past five years since I left Master’s Commission and my abusive relationship with the pastors of Our Savior’s Church. So, I knew exactly how he felt. I’ve been faced with big decisions like whether to move to Northridge, CA and pursue a writing career, and small decisions like what time of day to take a class that’s offered. Over and over, I’d find myself unable to make decisions or coming to a moment of crisis when I had to make those decisions without someone’s advice or approval. I’d go to my parents or friends and ask them and they’d all say,”Well what do you think you should do?”

That was the BEST advice ever!

My advice to my friend who called was to go with HIS instinct and his heart on the matter and not to listen to anyone else. I think that in order to practice making decisions, you have to just do it. You have to jump out there and see what choices you’re going to make and what effects they have on you—good or bad. The bottom line is that you and I are responsible for ourselves and we’re fully capable of making decisions. We are adults, after all.

No pastor or ministry staff should take away your ability to make decisions. Nor should they ASK for that right. They shouldn’t coerce you, rebuke you or try to silence you. They should allow you to think for yourself, teach you how to search for knowledge (if anything) and allow you to be human.

Making decisions isn’t always easy. Sometimes we do need to ask our parents or friends what to do. But, what I’ve learned in the past few years is that whether I make a “good” or “bad” choice in life, it’s not that big of a deal. So what if I choose something that’s not quite the best choice? Life goes on. I still have to wake up and go to work. I still have a great family who loves me and cares about me.

Most importantly: I’m a smart, capable adult woman who can make decisions on her own.

*Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Any names that have not been changed may be left intact at the author’s discretion, so that the reading audience gets a full picture of the events that occurred/are occurring in the ministries of the named parties.

What would Anne Rice do?

Original article found here, written by Carolyn Kellogg: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2010/08/what-would-anne-rice-do.html

Anne Rice, the author of “Interview With the Vampire” and its sequels, has decided that her Christian faith no longer fits with the Christian church. She announced this very personal decision on Facebook on Wednesday, generating more than 2,000 comments on two posts that went up within five minutes of each other.

In the first, she wrote: “Today I quit being a Christian. I’m out. I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being ‘Christian’ or to being part of Christianity. It’s simply impossible for me to ‘belong’ to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten years, I’ve tried. I’ve failed. I’m an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.”

“I quit being a Christian,” she continued. “I’m out. In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen.”

In addition to the attention it drew on Facebook, Rice’s declaration was circulated widely on the Internet and by the mainstream media; even the Associated Press picked it up. She may have created more of a media splash with her departing-the-church announcement than she did when she showed up at a booksigning in a coffin.

Rice’s Christianity seemed an awkward worldview for an author who so thoroughly imagined evil vampires — sexy evil vampires, even.

In 2008, Rice sought to illuminate her journey in faith with the memoir “Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession.” She had an inner voice, she wrote, that said, “Write for God. Write for Him. Write only for Him.” Her recent books include “Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt” (2005), “Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana ” (2008) and “Angel Time” (2009).

Yet despite this focus on Christ and angels, Rice, who was brought up Catholic, said in her memoir that the church’s laws caused her pain. “How was I to become a card-carrying member of a church that condemned my gay son?”

If I were more of a religious scholar, I could find a church for Rice that is dedicated to Christ and not anti-gay or anti-feminist or anti-birth-control or anti-Democrat or anti-secular-humanist. I’m sure people who know more about this than I do have tried to help Rice find her way to a church that might fit her beliefs.

What I do know is that, sometimes, causing a stir can help spark interest in an author’s work. So in case you’re curious, Anne Rice’s next angel book, “Of Love and Evil,” is due on shelves in November.

— Carolyn Kellogg
twitter.com/paperhaus

Every Nation Ministries & A Blog That Tells the History

During my time at Our Savior’s Church in Lafayette, Louisiana, the church was a member of what was called Morning Star International (MSI), which later turned into Every Nation Ministries (EN).

Every Nation Ministries had a bible training group called Victory Leadership Institute (VLI).

It turns out that Every Nation Ministries may be the same group with the same roots in leadership as Maranatha. I’ve had a few emails from readers who saw my connection to an Every Nation church, and asked me if I had any information on Maranatha.

I haven’t done extensive research on EN/MSI or Maranatha, but I’d like to introduce you to someone who has: Ulyankee. She runs a blog called Shepherding/Discipleship Movement Survivor’s Blog: The present-day impact of the Shepherding/Discipleship movement from the perspective of a former member of Morning Star International (now Every Nation Churches and Ministries).

Ironically, Ulyankee and I attended Our Savior’s Church at the same time, yet I didn’t know her then. We’ve since connected via email and she’s shared a great deal of useful information with me that I hope to share in the future with you. Until then, please peruse her voluminous blog to discover some of the roots of abusive or false teaching that has made Our Savior’s Church what it is.

Some key players that I’ve had personal experience with who either run Every Nation Ministries or have had an historic past in EN leadership include:

Rice Broocks

Jim Lafoon (to which Daniel Jones is still very connected with)

Leo Lawson

Steve Murrell

and more…(this list to updated soon)

Teen Mania Expose on MSNBC airs Sunday November 6th, 2011

Here’s a clip from MSNBC’s expose on Teen Mania Ministries, the abusive behavior some interns have faced and their recovery after leaving the group. Check out Recovering Alumni for more information on the abuses of Teen Mania. Teen Mania is similar to the program Master’s Commission. They’re both discipleship programs which use entertaining multi-media conferences for teens and young adults (such as Aquire the Fire and Master’s Commission International Network conference) to recruit their interns. Both programs are located in Texas.

 

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The Controlling, Narcissist Leader/Pastor

The Controlling, Narcissist Leader/Pastor

Ungodly, controlling pastors have hurt many people. The phrase “ungodly pastors” seems to be an oxymoron. These two words shouldn’t go together in the same sentence, but the sad truth is there are pastors and leaders who are only in the position for their own lustful desires.

These dictating leaders can be described by many words – controllers, manipulators, narcissists, psychopaths, cult leaders, false pastors, and dictators, to name a few. There are varying degrees of this type of leadership and some are more damaging than others, but I have seen the negative effects these type of leaders can have on people. Some pastors are just strong leaders, while others are narcissitic psychopaths. If you haven’t ever been around a person like this it may be hard for you to imagine that there are people who go to these extreme measures. But for those who have suffered under this type of heartless leadership, you know all too well how deep the wounds go.

Here are some signs and characteristics of a narcissist, unscriptural leader…..

*Resembles the same attitude Diotrephes had in III John verse 9. He is proud, carnal, demanding, overbearing, impatient, uncompassionate, “loving” only toward those who submit to him, but mean-spirited toward those who do not agree with him.

*He develops doctrines from pet verses that appear to support his view.

*He makes people feel that they cannot make important decisions and know God’s will without him.

*He exalts himself before the people.

*He ridicules his associates, making them look small in the eyes of the church members, thus increasing his own prestige and authority and decreasing theirs.

*He treats men who leave as fools and evil men. All kindness and friendship is withdrawn by the leaders. People are only treated kindly when they submit to his doctrines and “authority.”

*He contradicts himself a lot.

*He is accountable to no one.

*He provokes and intimidates people to get what he wants.

*He demands respect instead of trying to earn respect.

*He wears a phony grin and acts like everything is all right even when things are falling apart in his church.

*He acts as if he knows everything, but he really doesn’t know how to handle problems he has caused.

*He is a captive storyteller and exaggerates the truth all the time. He is able to spin a web that intrigues others and pulls them into his life.

*He has the capacity to destroy his critics verbally and disarm them emotionally.

*He does not recognize the individuality or rights of others.

*He is extremely self-serving and thinks he deserves royal treatment.

*He has no checks on his behavior – anything goes.

*He has tremendous feelings of entitlement. He believes everything is owed to him as a right.

*He presents himself as a genius.

*He has an insatiable need for adoration. When others aren’t praising him, he will praise himself.

*He gives the perception that he lives a grandiose life, but paranoia rules him. He creates an us vs. them mentality because of his perceived hostile environment.

*He lies coolly and easily, even when it is obvious he is being untruthful. It is almost impossible for him to be consistently truthful about either a major or minor issue.

*He is a plagiarist and a thief. He seldom gives credit to the true originators of ideas.

*He is extremely convincing and could more than likely pass a lie detector test.

*He does not have friends.

*He doesn’t not have feelings of remorse, shame, or guilt. He feels justified in all his actions because he considers himself the ultimate moral arbiter. Nothing gets in his way.

*He is unmoved by things that would unset the normal person, while outraged by insignificant matters.

*He is cold, with shallow emotions, living in a dark world of his own.

*He can witness or order acts of utter brutality without experiencing a shred of emotion.

*He casts himself in a role of total control, which he plays to the hilt.

*He is tragically flawed in being able to either give or receive love.

*He despises community and emotional intimacy, and so he is profoundly lonely. On the one hand, though, there is something about his loneliness that he likes; for he can attribute it to his unique and superior nature.

*He constantly tests the beliefs of his followers, often with bizarre behaviors.

*He readily takes advantage of others, expressing utter contempt for anyone else’s feelings. Someone in distress is not important to him. Although intelligent, perceptive, and quite good at sizing people up, he makes no real connections with others. He uses his “people skills” to exploit, abuse, and wield power.

*He will favor and offer help to people who are down as long as he thinks they will be useful to him later on down the road. Such favors might include offering employment, loaning money, or offering personal counseling. He may call in his favor if he sees you slipping away. Also, such opportunities help the narcissist persuade himself that he is good, despite the gnawing awareness of the dark cellar at heart.

*He has an inflated sense of superiority which propels him to recklessness; for he is subject to fantasies of omnipotence and unequalled brilliance, and he feels that he is above the law. And it is this sense of superiority that allows him to underestimate the intelligence and determination of his adversaries.

*He is indifferent to injustice and it’s victims, but he rages against the person who is a threat to his charade and/or who refuses to cooperate with his underhanded schemes.

(I have taken a few of these statements from an article I have been reading, entitled Narcissism and the Dynamics of Evil. I decided just to add the link instead of continuing to add to my post. It’s a very informative article.)

All material above quoted from: http://setfree0408.blogspot.com/

Oh Dear

There’s so much more going on behind the scenes here and much more that I’m writing and working on…but not all of it is ready to publish here…YET.

I do want to share with my readers that I won’t be using names of pastors as much from here (just out of necessity) because those pastors are going really crazy and the people I’m friends with are getting a lot of needless backlash from them. Those pastors still aren’t contacting me, but I feel it’s unfair that so many of my friends are getting bashed for what I’m doing because no one will speak to me about it.

Of course, I will be using names if I feel it’s needed, but for now I’m going to take this blog in a direction of giving more details of what myself and other students went through during their time in Master’s Commission and working for Our Savior’s Church and let their stories shine through–not drama about some douche-bag.

Stop Telephoning Me: I’m Kinda Busy

To my haters/stalkers from the cult; In the words of Lady Gaga:

Stop telephoning me…

Sorry, I cannot hear you,
I’m kinda busy.

K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m kinda busy.

Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce–Telephone

If you don’t like my blog, that’s cool. Three words: Don’t Read It! While you’re not reading it, please watch Lady Gaga’s video so you’ll be entertained and if you STILL insist on reading this blog, then just know that

I’M KINDA BUSY DOING THE FOLLOWING:

  1. Getting paid BANK at my job, rather than getting paid 40 CENTS an hour! I get paid really well at my job, and honestly, anything is better than 40 CENTS an hour, wouldn’t you agree?
  2. Spending the past several years vacationing in HAWAII, where my sister lived. Hawaii is one of the most beautiful places in the world. We spent one week our vacation house which had it’s own private beach. Eat your heart out, pastors.
  3. Even though my pastors wouldn’t let me go visit my family, because I was “too busy” working for them, I now get to spend lots of time with them. Some examples of things we do: Go flying in my dad’s private airplane; Deep sea fish on my parent’s boat; Spend weekends in the winter in Mammoth, CA snow skiing; Spend weekends at the lake water skiing.
  4. Instead of eating food that was donated to our church/ministry by Albertson’s grocerty store (can we say OLD meat?????), I dine at places like Ruth’s Chris. Yes, you heard me…the food we used to eat in the cult was OLD meat and old food donated to us from local grocery stores. How disgusting was it? So gross. Just ask anyone who lived there.
  5. I’m kinda busy living in a brand new house, rather than living in a dorm with over 15 other girls or living in an old converted barn that has a mouse and bug problem. Yes, my living quarters, which the pastor so frequently said was part of my pay, was an old converted barn! He lived in a home that was selling for around $750,000 while I lived in that barn! What a way to treat your employees.
  6. Living guilt-free and dogma-free.
  7. Thinking for myself.
  8. Going to an actual doctor with actual medical insurance, instead of sitting at some county welfare office waiting for health services because the pastor can’t afford my health care.