How to saw off your arm with a tin can (and be taunted by carbs)

Last week, my friend Abby came across this interesting recipe for Bread in a can.

Yes, you read that right. Bread. In a can.
bread in a can


From the website, “Stop! Before you recycle that empty can, upcycle it into something fun and useful! Think of upcycling as recycling’s crafty little sister, a way to give new life to preloved items. Where recycling is usually an industrial process that breaks things down before they’re reused, upcycling is something we can all do. It’s eco-friendly, budget-friendly and a whole lot of fun, too!”

Oh, so now we’re being trendy? Now it’s called “upcycling”? Hmm. Riiiight.

Abby and I were a bit dumbfounded trying to figure this out. I mean, there’s a lot of dumb shit on Pinterest these days, but seriously? An old can of green beans is now a cool baking tin?

Abby: “Okay, banana bread in a can seems more useful–but only if a can is a serving size.”

Me: “But how do you get it out?”

Abby: “It says it slides out, but with my luck I’ll just have to grab a fork and eat it out.”

(Abby realizes she said ‘eat it out’ and she laughs. She’s more interested in her boyfriend ‘eating it out’ but hey, who’s counting?)

Me: “Yeah, I don’t know. I’m not trusting the idea of it.” I’m thinking about all the tin cans I’ve ever opened and how I could’ve easily killed myself with a wrong move toward the general area of the veins in my wrist. Judging by the fact that I’m clumsy and not really a cook, I’d probably die. Death by tin can.

Abby is clearly thinking the same thing (which is why we’re friends): “No and you’d cut your arm off trying to butter the sides so it would slide out and it would probably get stuck on that lip thing that will cut your arm off, but not cut the bread. It’s like trying to make the universe say FUCK YOU to your face.”

Me: “Let’s re-write the recipe and call it ‘how to saw off your arm with a tin can.'”
Abby: “And be taunted by carbs…”


bread in a can 2

Photos from