#1: If he cheat on you or beat you once, he’s gonna do it again. And then he’ll say…
#2: If he won’t LET you make your relationship Facebook official, he’s sleeping with someone else. Or going to murder you. Let’s hope it’s option a.
#3: If you’ve met him one time and move states away to be with him, we all totally think it’s going to last. Totally. We’re here for you, girl.
#4: If you make it out alive, your ex-boyfriend totally won’t take you back. He knows your level of crazy has reached level zeta and the only next level he wants to make it on is in Bioshock Infinite.
#5: We’re laughing at you, not with you. But in a totally supportive way.
#6: Your cat loves you more than he does.