So You Want to Read My Hate Mail?

Awhile ago (December 11, 2010 to be exact), I wrote a post about Magic Erasers and why Elisabeth Elliot sucks, or something like that.

Needless to say, a lot of people didn’t like that post. At all. They think I’m a heretic and I think I’m funny. I usually just give those people a big fuck you and go on with my day, but today I’m going to share with you Brian’s comment (which I hate to admit I haven’t read in it’s entirety, but why not start now? My comments are in italics and {brackets}:


“For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us
which are saved it is the power of God. 1 Corinthians 1:18 {I’m not saved, Brian. That’s old news. Read my blog.}

There is a reason that Elisabeth Elliot offends you, but it is has to do with you- not her. {You’re right, Brian. It does have to do with me and how awesome I am. In fact, the last time I got on my knees wasn’t to scrub the floor like Ms. Elliot. So I think I win.}

You will, one day soon, be quite ashamed of your criticisms of Mrs. Elliot. Perhaps you should refrain from criticising that which you do not understand.  {I hope that day comes soon. It hasn’t come soon enough.}

“Those that look to be happy must first look to be holy.“- Richard Sibbes {Holiness is a myth that preachers spread to try to get people like you to pay money.}

“Whatsoever a man values above God, He will make it a bane and a ruin unto him.” – Richard Sibbes (What do you value most? Really?) {My cats, myself, my humor. Oh, and I value that I have a blog and you don’t. Nahnaahnahahaha na}

One cannot buy a life, though many have tried, and most are still trying. If you are attempting to fill that God-shaped void in your heart with food, money, your privileged “position”, a new car, your children, a new man, the attention of others, or a myriad of other things- it will not work. You can lose any of these in the span of a heartbeat. God will never allow you to be satiated by anything other than Himself. Some temporal goods have their place, if used as designed, but to use them otherwise is to misapply them and invite upon yourself disillusionment. To the wise, the world must eventually lose its charm. You will only find peace, joy, and contentment (what you’ve been searching for, all along) as you yoke yourself to Jesus Christ (see Mt. 11:28-30). Still, I fear that some of you who read this will continue on as before, trying to satisfy your inner longings with that which cannot satisfy. This amounts to nothing more than “chasing after the wind”. Perhaps, in a few years, having run through this cycle several more times, you will reflect upon these words. {You’re losing me here. I don’t even have the patience to read this because it sounds sort of dumb to begin with.}
Choose rather to live the examined life, remaining ever conscious that, be it today or some unknown morrow, there will come your own “last supper”, after which you will step from time into eternity. Are you ready? Philip of Macedonia employed a friend at his door, and every morning when the king awoke, and every evening just before he went to sleep, his friend would call out to him, “Oh, King Philip, remember that thou art mortal.” Life becomes more meaningful and precious, if you consider your latter end. {Now I have a lesson in life. Thank you, Oh Wise One.}

Some will be offended by my remarks. Not so long ago, I was much like you. (John 15:18-25, 1 Peter 4:4) God often offends, until there is no opposition left to offend. Please realise that I did not come by this knowledge the “easy” way – I tried everything else first. Maybe you have, too, only to find that the world never delivers on its grandiose promises. I only say what Luther said before his accusers, “Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me. Amen.” {Wait, this is GOD writing me????!!!! WHAT?? I thought it was Brian!}


Brian, wait…I mean God, are you out there? I still don’t like Elisabeth Elliot, but I HAVE started cleaning my house now and then.

14 thoughts on “So You Want to Read My Hate Mail?”

  1. my name is joel (all in reply: hi joel), I’m a lazy bastard, and didn’t read all that he wrote, however I did read the italic remarks.  I am lazy.

    (all in reply: you are lazy, joel)

    This is my introduction to ‘lazy bastards anonymous.’ 

  2. you are a firecracker! just as you are 🙂 obviously blessed with enough courage to be authentic in the face of all kinds of pressures to conform….interesting fact – conformity never equals truth – you obviously realize this and therefor enjoy the relief of being genuine.. this fella was doing what many of us have been conditioned to do  – look in on people from the outside and try to correct or nudge them toward a correcter edge…problem is, its completely pointless as anyone who does not KNOW another intimately is truly powerless to do any good – if there is even good to be done!
    reading your writing is a thoroughly good romp…you are delightful. he misses the point of being able to read your thoughts – and he misses why you write and how really you are just enjoying being you and sharing your way of seeing things – whats the point is that? to me, its just that – the pleasure of getting glimpses into all sorts of unique hearts that our bizarre and hilarious God created…He isn’t stiff and religious, we are….and why? well, because we are scared of ourselves mostly…. you on the other hand, have enough cheek to enjoy who you are despite the fears. 🙂

  3. “In fact, the last time I got on my knees wasn’t to scrub the floor like Ms. Elliot. So I think I win.”I laughed my ass off at this one!

  4. Comparing yourself with Luther as concerning this letter to Lisa, Brian? Full of yourself much?

    Try as I might I just find a big reality disconnect on your part when you think you have to say all these things. Not to mention the fact that when Luther did it his ass and life was in real and present danger, while you get to sound off to our admittedly feisty hostess over the safety of the internet.

  5. I wonder if he responded in this manner because he thinks that because these words of “wisdom” are coming from his mouth that you will finally see the light. Obviously know one else can influence you in the way that this man can. I”m sure that this time you will turn from your wicked ways and sit at his feet to learn from his vast knowledge of all things holy. Good luck with that. 

  6. Hi Aaron, 🙂

    Even though in a more generic sense I can appreciate his sentiments I do believe that he doesn’t have a frikin clue why such flowery language would be considered hate mail” by our hostess. Mores the pity IMO that such a heart for bravery and necessity can be hijacked into a base and foolish attempt at saying “I am good, but was bad like you once.”

    If he ever gets to the point where he doesn’t assume that his theological ideology by itself is a poor substitute for understanding, or pretend to have the measure of a person when he doesn’t have a damn clue……he might yet prove himself to be ok IMO. 😀

    1. He might not be arrogant, just thinks hes right.
      Now is complete lack of understanding of the real world (Thanks MC!) probably attributed to that.

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