I’M A MOTHAFUCKEN WITCH

You never know what friending nice people on Facebook is going to do. I found some beautiful Alaskan friends to befriend this week and WAM. All of a sudden I’m a witch! I’m corrupting them! Their “pastor” is emailing them to delete me and stay away or they will be operating in the demonic.

Let me tell you a little something about Alaska–I love it. It’s wonderful. My parents live there a few months out of the year doing the same thing the guys on Bering Sea Gold do. Or, as I like to call it, My dad is a mothafuckenbadass. [Yes, he spends 12 hours a day scuba diving in the Bering Sea looking for gold. That’s the ocean, folks.]

But oh yes, back to Psycho Pastor. His name is Ron Pratt. He’s a graduate of the same Master’s Commission I went to with Lloyd Zeigler.

Lloyd Zeigler, Heart of Gold–look at that FACE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now Ron Pratt-ie Poo lives in Alaska and runs “This Generation Ministries.” Translation: he’s bat shit crazy. Well, I don’t know, you be the judge. Here’s his photo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note the “John 3:16” hat. No big deal.

So, then there’s this one. Which is fun:

Israel Army

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because clearly, he’s Israeli and the members of their army wear beanies, right? Oh, he’s American. And he’s not Jewish? Hmm, that’s curious. Very, very curious.

Oh right! He’s one of those Christian Fundamentalist TERRORISTS! Gotcha. :0) It all makes sense now, honey.

My favorite pictures, though are these. They really show the love of Jesus.

Behold, the Lord, a MAN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Guys, I killed this moose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m so bad, I make dead bears drip blood from their mouths. Oh, and JESUS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God spaketh…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK………SORRY.

Getting off track. Because really, it’s way too fun to make fun of dirty assholes. Online.

I heard through the grapevine that Ron was an abusive minister. Bossy, controlling, manipulative, etc. I was concerned. But minded my own business, until he sent THIS message to someone who friended me on Facebook. Again, it’s a friend request sent and accepted. We’re not married. From Ron to ‘friend’:

Hey I don’t expect you to reply, but here goes… I see you became “friends” with Lisa Kerr… do you know her? I would doubt that you really do. I’m not sure where you are spiritually, as I have been disconnected from you awhile, but if you align yourself with people like her, then your name will be aligned with her beliefs. She is full of anger, hate and operating in witchcraft…

I would hope that is not you… If you line up with those attacking the Spirit, then you also will be seen as one who will embrace the demonic.

I believe in your calling and in you!

Pastor Ron

Emphasis my own, because of course I’d like to point out HOW AWESOME it is that he said I was operating in witchcraft! All the best womenz are! Duh! Burn those bitches! Rush Limbaugh called them sluts! Whores they are!

But I digress 😉  (yes, that one is for YOU)

Here’s what I sent to happy pants, psycho animal KILLER Ron:

Hey Ron,
I’ve heard some rumor that you have been telling some folks what to do up there in Alaska. I really need you to cut that shit out. That’s not what God has called you to do. That is abusive behavior, controlling and manipulation. Signs of an abuser. You’re on my radar, friend and I know I’m on yours. 
Lisa Kerr
www.mycultlife.com

After all, I had to live up to my “witch” reputation.