No Years Resolutions

Welcome to 2011, my dear friends. A few years ago, I stopped making new year’s resolutions. Maybe it was in rebellion to all that I felt Master’s Commission was. In Master’s Commission, I grew to look at myself more as a project who needed work. I always felt guilty for the thoughts I had, even if they were good. I always thought I should change-be something or someone else. Rather than viewing myself as a unique person who had some great qualities, I constantly dogged on myself for the faults I saw in myself.

And New Year’s was just another time for us to focus on “changing” and “better ourselves” and “working harder” at our self-control and discipline.

So, I decided to stop all that nonsense. I also decided to stop looking at myself in a negative light, as someone who had to be changed, and to look at myself as someone who was pretty amazing, creative and individual. In order to do that, I decided to stop making New Year’s Resolutions temporarily and just practice appreciating the person I was.

I also used to spend hours on end in Master’s Commisson being “encouraged” to always improve my time management, so I could squeeze more projects into one day. We read all those business and self-improvement books that are filled with ways to finish your entire to-do list in a day. Most of the time, then, my to-do list wasn’t even stuff I wanted to get done. It was something I wasn’t getting paid to do for someone else. Now, I do things for myself, and then help others. I simplify my time. I spend a good amount of time saying no to needless responsibilities (that sometimes others are just too lazy to do) and tasks that I didn’t choose, but someone may have pushed onto me. I relax more. I realize that I’m ambitious enough throughout the day that some relaxing at night isn’t going to hurt me. And if the to-do list doesn’t get done, there’s always tomorrow, or next week. Eventually, if it’s important enough, I’ll find time for it. If not, I’m not bothered by some unimportant things not getting done.

I don’t force myself to read more, exercise more, do more, be more of something else. I just don’t mind going through a new year at the same pace as the last one, and being the same person as I was last year.

For many of us, who’ve been recovering from the teachings of Master’s Commission, it’s helpful to take a moment and strip away the guilt, the self-criticism, and stop beating ourselves up. Recognize that you’re a good person, who’s worthy of love, who is great, and has a good heart.

Lastly, I’m by no means not telling you to make a New Year’s Resolution. In fact, I’m probably going to start getting back into the “resolutions” game this year with my own new set of goals. However, I’m going to do so knowing that it’s in my best interest (and not the interest of someone else), and not because someone encouraged me to do so, but that it’ll make me happier as a person.

5 thoughts on “No Years Resolutions”

  1. I feel the same way about making new year’s resolutions. i’m tired of setting myself up for failure and disappointment and all for what? I have some personal goals for this year and i’m gonna concentrate on meeting some of them. but i’ve put down that perfectionistic/expectation/ that if i do this complete this i’m gonna be a somebody. i’m already a somebody! 🙂 Happy New Year!!! I hope it’s the best for you!!!

    1. Frogla,
      It’s true! You are already a somebody and a great one. Happy New Year to you, too! It’s been such a pleasure meeting you.

  2. “I grew to look at myself more as a project who needed work.”

    Wow. That’s a perfect explanation. All the guilt and frustration over never being even acceptable–in that one line.
    I’m glad you shared this. 🙂

    1. Thanks. That’s really honestly how I’ve felt. I refuse to look at myself as someone who constantly needs improvement. We have enough expectations from the social pressures we face as men and women, let alone having a voice haunting us saying we’re not good enough.

  3. And that’s why I like your blog so much Lisa………you share honestly what it’s like for you to overcome the bs doctrines they used to hurt you so badly!

    No New Year resolutions…no prob…keep on rockin!

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