Enjoying Life

Life is never a bed of roses, but sometimes it can be pretty lovely. I used to only look forward to the future and didn’t give the present too much importance. I always had to have plans for the future and was always looking forward to the days when something big would happen in my life.

Today nothing major happened. I slept in. I drank two cups of coffee. I went to the post office. I got a Starbucks Salted Caramel Mocha. And now I’m home.

I’m not rushing to work on my writing. I’m not doing homework. I’m enjoying the weather and hoping to get a nap in after I post this.

The ambitious me is still here, but I’m learning to enjoy life and learning to relax. Years of overwork and burnout hit me (and my body) like a ton of bricks. I can’t overextend myself as I used to. I can’t pull all-nighters without feeling it in my body. I can’t even drink a whole bottle of wine without getting a tummy ache.

And even when I spend all day resting, I sometimes need to rest some more.

Yesterday I spent a wonderful day with the BF (boyfriend)–watching movies, laying on the beach, getting massages. It was perfect. But I woke up today exhausted, so I skipped class and rested. I’m exhausted for a number of reasons, but I’m just not interested in getting burnt out again. I AM interested in enjoying life, though.

I always dream of moving to another country and exploring the world, vagabond style. The other day I realized that I don’t need to move overseas to explore the world. I can do that here. So Sunday (I think…I have a hard time keeping track of days) I spent the entire day relaxing on the beach. The WHOLE day. I had a book to read, a blanket to nap on and I pulled my jeans up and went playing in the water.

It was the nicest, most relaxing day I’ve had in awhile. I waited for the sun to set and parked my car near my favorite point where I always see baby seals swimming. I could’ve cried, it was so picturesque and perfect.

And that’s when I decided that life is pretty damn near perfect. I don’t have to move overseas. I don’t need anything in life to change. I just need to get to enjoying it more.

I’m in Love

I happen to be in love right now. I can’t even tell you how head over heels I am for this guy, but I am. Sometimes he and I take off on a Monday (we both have the day off) and spend the day together. The other day we drove up to Chumash Casino, near Santa Barbara. We just have so much fun in each other’s company–singing and yelling and letting the cool breeze blow through our hair.

Ryan Adams just came out with his new album, Ashes and Fire. I love Ryan, although I have to admit I probably know of him because an ex-boyfriend (can I call him that if we never actually kissed?), but I don’t really associate him with that guy because I’ve mostly forgotten him.

Yesterday I went to Malibu and sat by the beach in my car listening to the album and came across the song Dirty Rain. Like many of Ryan Adam’s songs, they’re soulful and deeply romantic. I happen to be in love right now. I can’t even tell you how head over heels I am for this guy, but I am. Sometimes he and I take off on a Monday (we both have the day off) and spend the day together. The other day we drove up to Chumash Casino, near Santa Barbara. We just have so much fun in each other’s company–singing and yelling and letting the cool breeze blow through our hair.

A few weeks ago, I drove him to my favorite spot in Malibu. This spot where I was alone last night. Since he loves taking pictures at night, I pulled over so he could get a few photos of the moonlight reflecting on the ocean. They turned out gorgeous. Then he put his camera up and I grabbed a blanket from the backseat. We walked hand-in-hand to the seashore and kissed under the moonlight. We took a little walk on the beach, laughing and talking and holding each other. And then we laid out the blanket on the sand and snuggled while we talked. It was so romantic–just he and I and the moonlight reflecting on our faces.