The thing about life is, you have to accept it eventually. Accepting life as it is is what makes us happy. Sometimes you have to be older to figure that out. When you’re younger you try to change people and change what’s given to you, my Mom said as we drove home from Shafter yesterday morning. When we just accept life as it is and accept people, we can truly be happy.
I am not completely sure I understand what that means, but my mother sure does. She knows a lot about the meaning of life. She knows all the right things to say and she gives me a lot of courage to keep plowing through the hard shit that keeps coming my way. We all know that life gives us a lot of tough shit to get through and I’ve been no stranger to that.
I’ve always been one to try to change life and try to change people who are in my life. I thought if only my parents would change and stop fighting, life would be good. Or if my dad stopped nagging at me about how much makeup I wore or that I was drenched in perfume, things would be more pleasant. And maybe they would’ve been. But, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to accept my parents for who they are and realize that it’s okay for them to be who they are. We’ve all kind of relaxed into our lives and our familial roles and we’re quite comfortable together. We get along well. We love each other.
I suppose that life is just about essentially dealing with terrible circumstances that are sometimes given to us. It’s not that we have to have an awesome attitude about it, like I was once taught in Christianity. I think that’s bullshit. Forget having a great attitude and smiling in the rain and just get through it alive. I think that if you can just get through the problem without killing yourself, then you’re doing pretty awesome. Fuck all that smiley-happy-people nonsense and just stay above water.
Life isn’t a bed of roses. Life is sometimes a “shit sandwich.” Sometimes people die or sometimes tragedy befalls us without any rhyme or reason.
That doesn’t mean, as Christianity would like to teach you, that you’ve done something wrong or you’re not blessed. It’s just a fact of life–different circumstances, many times outside of our control, can fuck things up and leave us with tragedy or pain to deal with. It’s not always something we can control or change. Sometimes we just have to accept the shit we’re given and work through it.