3 Rules For Becoming a Morning Person

#1 Get older

I could never, ever wake up early when I was in my younger twenties. When I turned twenty-nine everything changed. I was able to go to bed around 10 p.m. for the first time in what seemed like my entire life (with the exception of sick days). Call it thyroid problems or personal preference, but I would always stay up until midnight or 2 a.m., especially in college. This is all normal, until you have to start working or waking up for class. I just couldn’t drag myself out of bed in the mornings. Then, I got older and the older I got (well it’s been a whopping year and a half since my 29th birthday) the earlier I’d go to bed. I went from midnight, to eleven to now…10 pm.

#2 Start drinking beer

I grew up around hard working laborers. I’m from California’s Central Valley, where my hometown’s main financier is the petroleum industry. Men who work outside in over 100 degree weather should earn a medal for honor. I spent one summer driving around in a truck weed eating entire pipe yards for the Texaco oil industry. After we weed eated the area, we had to paint the pipes bright yellow.

Let’s just say that working 8 hour days in that blistering summer heat was not my idea of fun. Nor was being at work at 6 am.

Somehow I did it, though.

Most of the men I know who have these types of jobs (and many guys, for that matter) end up at home or at a happy hour drinking beer after work. It’s an after work ritual. Meet with buddies. Drink beer. Go home to wife. Drink beer.

I’ve become one of them this week. I bought a case of Blue Moon and for the past two days, I’ve come home and drank one. Partially because Blue Moon tastes delicious, partly because one beer will put me in nap mode quicker than you can say “I’ll be darned” but mostly because drinking beer is relaxing.

#3 Take naps

My boss and I had a discussion this week about me getting to work earlier. I dread getting up early. I hate it. I hate mornings–well I don’t hate them, so much as wish I could spend them inĀ  my cozy white sheets all snuggled up with my eyes closed. Once I’m awake, I’m not cranky (though this has changed from the past. I was cranky when I was younger). I get my coffee and listen to some lively music and viola! Life is good!

Since I’m getting up so early this week, I’ve decided to take up a habit one of my ex-boyfriends (side note: good riddance to him!) had. He’d wake up at 5 am to go to work and come home around 3 pm. After being home about thirty minutes he’d lay down and take an hour or two long nap. That way, he didn’t feel like death in the evenings when he wanted to hang out with friends or watch tv. Which is how I feel. Like death.

Another thing to be noted: When starting to drink beer, note that beer is easily spilled all over valuable items that may or may not be located on your nightstand. Such as what just happened to me while writing this post. I reached over for another taste of Blue Moon and damnit–my Blue Moon spilled all over my checkbook.