Dating Advice from The Onion

Hat tip to my friend Keith for sending me this. I laughed way too hard.

best of the onionSome of the highlights from the article:

  • Remember to relax and have fun! Sometimes, the moment you stop worrying about finding that perfect match is the moment you’ll open your email and find an absolutely vulgar and disgusting email from a complete stranger.
  • Listing a minimum height requirement is a great way to weed out tiny men who would have treated you like a queen.
  • Put a Bible verse in your profile to show other men that you have a stifled, Puritanical sense of raw sexuality just waiting to be let out.
  • First impressions count. Before posting the photo of yourself pepper-spraying Occupy movement protesters, seriously consider if that is the image you want to project to the world.
  • Be willing to open yourself up to new experiences, like going on a series of terrible dates with men you despise.