A bizarro biography of Hunter S. Thompson

E. Jean Carroll’s biography of Hunter S. Thompson is discussed.

So, for some reason E. Jean Carroll’s old book from the 90’s (which was republished in 2010 as an eBook that you have to read from the website…ew!) is floating around the internet lately.

The book is called HUNTER: The Strange and Savage Life of Hunter S. Thompson, and biographer E. Jean Carroll starts the biography introducing Hunter S. Thompson’s sex-starved biographer, Miss Laetitia Snap.

Hunter woman cesspool

 

Unfortunately, Miss Laetitia Snap doesn’t exist. She’s a fictional biographer. Yes, that’s right. She’s fake. So, what is E. Jean Carroll’s point to creating an over three hundred page bio of Thompson when you can’t even figure out what is fact and what is fiction? Perhaps I’m not enough of a Thompson aficionado to know the reason. Apparently I’m not the only one who doesn’t get it. The reviews for the book are terrible. Here’s one, for example.

hunter amazon review

However, this was interesting. Carroll reports (accurately or inaccurately?) a sample daily routine for the gonzo journalist (Note that he’s finally ready to write at midnight. That’s my kind of writer.):

hunter_s_thompson_daily_routine

 

h/t to my Facebook friend Hilton Price for the original link to the Mental Floss story.

Religious Salesman

Their voices set my teeth on edge. I have no valid complaint against hustlers, no rational bitch, but the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes.

The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson

Do you ever feel like you’re getting “sold” on something? I felt this way a few years back, when I dated this guy named Ruben. Our first week of dating, before he asked me to be his girlfriend, he sat me down in his living room and showed me “The Plan.”

I should’ve known. Anything that has a code name like “The Plan” should raise a red flag. But I was infatuated and the sex was good.

“The Plan” was an overview of a pyramid scheme set up by Amway (at the time known as Quixtar). It was to be shown to new or prospective recruits to get them to buy in as a member for $150 a month, plus the cost of products.

Ruben’s whole goal was to make sure I would support him as he chose to attempt to “go Ruby” (a fancy way of saying you’ve reached a certain ‘level’ of  money making in the pyramid). I told him I couldn’t possibly believe in that kind of thing and I wouldn’t want to be a member, but I’d support his interest in it. Sure, sell what you want. Sell car stereos for f*ck’s sake. I don’t care.

As it turned out, Ruben wasn’t happy with my casual attitude toward his pyramid scheme. At first he was, but then he saw me as an opportunity to help him reach his goals. He could use my name to be another “leg” of his group and he could buy products for himself under that name, thus helping him reach his goals.

And then there were the requests for me to get rid of my MAC makeup and replace it with his Amway makeup like all the loyal “Diamond” wives had done. What bullsh*t. First of all, they were married. Secondly, no.

Throughout my relationship with Ruben I felt like I was constantly getting sold something. He was pushy about many things, not limited to his Amway business and he didn’t fully accept me for who I was. I was too fat for him, even though I wasn’t fat at all. I wasn’t big breasted enough, even though I was perfectly proportionate. I didn’t dress like he wanted me to, even though I dressed well.

Sometimes my entire relationship with Ruben reminds me of my relationship with the Church and the Pastors I worked for. The old saying, “Come as you are” isn’t true when it comes to religion. What they really mean to say is Come as you are so we can fix you and make you look like all the rest of us…Stepford wives and husbands.

Every Sunday is an opportunity for them to “sell you” religion, and to sell you the nonsense that you’re unacceptable as you are; that you aren’t a good enough person to “get through the eye of a needle”. Well, honestly, that’s silly–no one can fit through the eye of a needle. Thread barely can.

If there was a god, do you think he’d create people “in his own image” and then try to change them? Doesn’t something about modern Christianity just seem out of whack?