I think I have emotions again

I have PCOS and high testosterone. Along with this wonderful (ya, right) condition, I get daily acne, hot flashes, and irritability. I’m even balding. Fantastic.

Solitude

I use an app to track my periods (Sorry, boys.) because they’ve been inconsistent over the past few years. My app is pretty cool because it allows me to track my moods and my symptoms. For the record, I have PCOS and high testosterone. Along with this wonderful (ya, right) condition, I get daily acne, hot flashes, and irritability. (Thus the symptom tracker) I’m even balding. Fantastic. My go-to’s these days are 10% benzoyl peroxide gel, a fan at my office desk, and a mixture of zinc and biotin that my doctor says will help the balding after six months. To be honest, the more I type, the more I want to cry. It’s so very miserable but it’s also embarrassing. Balding? I’m a lady!

I also have a mild case of hypochondria, which I think I’m controlling quite well thank you very much.

Last week as I was tracking my moods, I noticed a shift from “irritable”, “fatigued”, “I want to blow someone up” to “crying”, “clear headed”, “happy”. What?! Is this ME? 

For three or four days I was crying quite a bit at night but during the day (when it mattered most/aka, when I earn my paycheck) I was clear headed and happy. Once again I noticed how gorgeous the mountains in the horizon were and I was able to focus on getting stuff done at work. It was nice for a change. It was quite a change though. I can’t speak as an expert on PCOS but I am discovering the difficulties of living with this condition. It’s not at all fun. Having high levels of testosterone messes with your emotions and in my case, I felt like I turned into the Hulk. For me to now cry over seeing a kitten or have a melt down over seeing wedding pictures…it feels normal (again). That’s my normal. It just feels strange after such a long departure.

Welcome back, tears. You have actually been missed.

Kitten Diaries

Contrary to popular belief, I have two cats, not 25. Boo and Molly are their names. Look how adorable they are!

Just the two of us
Lover-cats

 

Boo is kind of a bad ass. I got him at 4 months old (we think) from a high-kill shelter. I’m surprised he survived his stay at the shelter, to be honest. He was so skiddish and couldn’t be touched when I got him. He was afraid of everything: hands, people, and being petted.

Can we say comfy?
Again with the porno-pose

Continue reading “Kitten Diaries”

My Favorite Romantic Comedies

I love romantic comedies. It’s Sunday afternoon and I woke up with a pounding headache, so I snuggled up in my softest blanket and tried to nap with my kitten, Molly. Molly has been sleeping for the past hour and I got caught up in a romantic comedy that was on TV. Shall We Dance? is a rom-com with Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez.

I’m a little teary eyed now.

[Spoiler Alert] The end of the movie is incredibly romantic. It ends with Richard Gere romancing his wife, played by Susan Sarandon. He dresses up in his dance clothes and brings a single red rose to her work and dances with her. I started crying. Sigh.

Which reminds me of another Richard Gere movie I love (all of them?!), Nights at Rodanthe. Yes, the Nicolas Sparks book turned film. I saw it in the theater with friends and sobbed my eyes out. I don’t think I’ve ever been the same, since that movie. I haven’t faced a ton of real tragedy in life, so movie tragedy has had to suffice, apparently.

My true favorite rom-com? You’ve Got Mail. Tom Hanks. Meg Ryan. Books. White twinkle lights. Sigh. It’s so romantic. I could watch it over and over. I’m that way with movies. I’m not a one-timer. I enjoy the 100th time watching a movie as much as the first.

So, do you like rom-com’s or do you despise them?